Getting FUNKy.

So Joanna came over to pick me up today and I was in a funk. Like a bitter at the whole world funk. And well Jo pointed out that I really have never written a “bitter” post before… so here goes…

In this world, we are surrounded by so many different people. Millions of people. Everyday we pass hundreds of total strangers on the street who leave no mark on us.  But then there is that one. That one person who sparks a feeling inside of you. Good or bad or happy or shocking or angry.

Is it proximity? Is it just happenstance that someone walks into your life? That this particular someone stirs up that emotion inside of you? And what about when this someone is gone? When you decide it’s just better to write them out of your story but you cannot get them out of your mind to save your life.  It reminds me of gravity. How two objects have a certain pull on one another. (And really do we even know why gravity works?? I mean I guess SOMEONE knows…)

Geez Louis I just have a million questions today. Like how even from miles away someone can still make you so angry or make you miss them. That shouldn’t even be allowed to happen. How can I be sitting on my couch this morning watching Grey’s and drinking my cup of coffee and then all of a sudden be in this dang funk? How can a Kenny Chesney song overwhelm me with emotion in the middle of my shower? How can a 20 year old girl’s relationship problems make me want to punch a random stranger in the face?

Ugh. And what are feelings anyway. What is love? What is hate? What is anger? Where do they come from? Now as the science-y person that I am I assume/half-know they come from hormones and things in your brain. But, it seems so much more than that. How smells and sounds and sights stir up something so strong inside of me. How just a single memory can make you burst into tears.

Now I know what you are thinking… and I am sure half of you stopped reading this after the first emo paragraph… but for those of you still with me, you might think: what has gotten into happy life-your-life-to-the-fullest girl we know so well? And sorry this normal pick-me-up blog has turned down this dark and stormy path. Maybe it’s this intense thunderstorm happening behind me right now. But everyone gets in a funk every once in a while and everyone deserves to write a bitter blog post every now and then (although I admit this may have been better kept in my own journal locked away from all you judgy-mcjudgersons.)

But it just feels good to rant. (And there is that word “feel” again…) It feels good to get all these bad emotions out there… like I just word vomited my funk right out of me. So thanks for listening, and if you ever need a good rant, feel free. Go ahead. Let it out. Because it feels good to feel bad sometimes. 

Liv

PS Alanis is just the icing on the top of this rant sundae. Dare you to scream this at the top of your lungs. Seriously, DO IT.