up.

So my sister is dating this guy who loooooves to rock climb. (Indoors, outdoors, bouldering, with a harness/rope, all of it...) And so when I came back to Knoxville for the summer for these two rotations, she was all about getting me to try it. Even though I am terrified of heights and have developed the wimpy-est arms in lieu of not sticking to my yoga routine. Even though I had "like no time"cause I was always working, and when I wasn't working, sleeping. Even though I thought I'd look like a big ol' dork. Even though sometimes competitive sports type activities with my sister can be an awful idea.

Even though all of those things and more, I tried it. And I was hooked.

Not instantly, mind you, but gradually over time as I could feel myself getting stronger and less scared. Man, that time I made it to the top of that first V0 (the easiest bouldering course) I was so proud of myself. And then when I made it to the top of a couple more, I smiled even bigger.

Now, these are super super beginner level climbs, but it doesn't matter because rock climbing is just one big competition with yourself. Not that I don't "ohh" and "ahh" at those baller girls my age (and older) with the incredible back muscles and calves who can dominate anything they put their mind to... 'cause I do. But I have to admit, when you've been trying to get that V1 for the past week and you FINALLY get it, you feel pretty baller yourself. Like a pro. High-fives all around and then on to the next one.

Sometimes though, it is easy to get discouraged. Like yesterday Kamry and I, being the beginners of the group, harnessed up and climbed the big, tall wall. (At least I don't pee my pants any more thinking about going that high!) And let me just tell you, I didn't think it was possible to get bilateral forearm cramps, but now I know better. And after we were done Kamry had some wise words.. she said "Olivia, when I get stuck and think I can't possibly reach the next hold or push off that leg or climb anyyyy higher, I just tell myself to 'stop being a little b**ch'." Slightly vulgar, I suppose, but it gets the job done just fine.

And we hear those little clichés all the time, don't we? The "suck it ups" and "just do its." The "when the going gets toughs" and all of the rest of them. Sometimes it just hurts and you just CAN'T. Except that you can...

You always can.

It's thinking like this that gets me through any rough day or troubling night. And keeps me pushing forward. Even if it's just the super super beginner level, I always smile every time I push through and reach the top. Every time I stand up on my leg one more time to reach that next rock.  Every time I don't quit. It's not a race with everyone else, but a competition with myself to keep trying and trying and trying...

Life is just one long, tiring, but beautiful, climb.

And I'm going to stop that metaphor right there, 'cause that could get really cheesy, really quickly. (And I think it already did.) But y'all get the point. Don't be a little you-know-what. You have to tell yourself to "man up" and just keep going. Not because anyone else tells you not to or because they are cheering you on, but because it's THE ONLY WAY. Even though you may think of soooo many reasons why you can't. Even though you may be tired as all heck. Even though you feel self-conscious. even though you might fail. Even though all of that.

The only way is UP.

Liv

I've got my ticket for the long way 'round
The one with the prettiest of views
It's got mountains, it's got rivers
It's got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you

When I'm gone, when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone