"gahbleshoe."

Those close to me know that I have this weird thing with not saying "God bless you" after someone sneezes. I mean, if you do that is totally fine, but really do you even KNOW why you say that? It seems like just a super random time to "bless" people in my opinion, especially since a sneeze is just our body trying to expel some foreign material out of our nose.... but it is just so ingrained in our culture that it is literally expected. When I just sit there in silence, people look at ME funny. Oh well.

I used to have this German ballet teacher who said these ridiculous things to us. But sometimes he would have these moments of insight/clarity.  I remember one day he had one of those moments..."If you are going to be there, BE THERE"... and also, "Just because it's Monday doesn't mean that you put your coffee on the floor, you still put it on the table." Then he just started talking about putting oranges in a shopping cart or some nonsense... oh well... that is not important.... the point he was trying to get across was to HAVE PURPOSE. And to be DELIBERATE. This applies well to dance obviously where every movement has a purpose, a meaning, an emotion, a reason.... but also to life as well. It is just like that mumbled "gahbleshoe" from across the room when someone sneezes. Do they even know they are doing that? Or does it just happen? 

Maybe we should try to be more deliberate. Always put our coffee "ON the table" and not just wherever it happens to land.

I am so guilty of this. Of just going through the motions. How many times today did I forgo eye contact in the elevator/hallway in favor of checking my email on my phone? (It's embarrassing). How many minutes of my day are COMPLETELY UNACCOUNTED FOR because I was just off in my own little world? (Even more embarrassing.) It just seems easier sometimes to just do, and not think. 

I am not entirely sure if it is just my generation, or if this dates back to the beginning of time, but it is almost impossible to still my mind on just ONE thing. (I imagine a caveman hunting or something while daydreaming about his new lady friend. ) It takes a LOT to really BE THERE. Body AND mind. I think that is something I am going to start working on more. 

Because, well, I want more out of life. But also because others deserve more from me. 

And on that note... 'night

Olivia

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” - Henry Miller