Scott.

Of course I am posting when I should be studying and/or sleeping the night before an assessment. Clearly I am just trying to even out the playing field for everyone else, since I am going to dominate this test (insert sarcasm here...)

But, this being National Women's Day (er it was an hour ago) and seeing a friend post about the ultimate "Women's Day" artist... you guessed it... Alanis... haha... made me think about my favorite song of her's and my favorite lyric:

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping
-Thank U, Alanis Morissette
(See, not everything of hers is dripping with female empowerment... ha!)

This made me think about everything going on in my life, and what is funny is how when I think about these things, cancer is like #583938379261 on the list now. Calling a friend from home made me realize this: "OF COURSE you are having such and such drama, and OF COURSE that is what you called me about... it's not like you have cancer or anything...." (Credit: Joanna). Am I just looking for a distraction, or did life really just happen when I wasn't paying attention?

Life goes on, with or without you. This week one of my sister's friends, Scott, died from cancer. And I have been thinking a lot about how lucky we all are, just to have each and every day. I never knew Scott but everyone who did know him saw that he was truly a child of God and that he knew what it was to LIVE... something we can all, including myself, only learn from.  You can read, in his own words, about how strong and faithful he was here.

On Scott's Facebook page he had this quote... Phillipians 4:6 "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." We all need a healthy dose of that reality. We all have trials, and I have always believed that God will never give you a trial you couldn't handle. But, seeing Scott's strength through all of his trials makes me feel incredibly weak. I am a tough girl, don't get me wrong, but it just puts everything into perspective.

Perspective. Something I think we could all use a little of, every day. Is is going to really matter that you missed one question extra than you wanted on your test and made a B? Is it going to matter who made out with whom in 5 days from now, let alone in the future? Are we still going to be worried about any of today's problems tomorrow? Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not be ANXIOUS about TOMORROW, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day its OWN trouble." We are all human. But, as such, we must strive for contentment knowing that if we do our best, and do what is right, then today will work itself out, as will tomorrow.

And is today really what we are living for? Remember Alanis? "How 'bout not equating death with stopping"... one of my favorite lines.. in a song, period. There is more to life than we could ever know... so let's all LIVE like there is. LIVE like Scott did, and like I imagine God wants us to...

I know I said I wasn't going to get really deep anymore, but there I go again.... but it's alright because it is important, if not the most important thing one can think about... Death is sad, to us, as humans anyway. Why should life be? So I will go to bed with a smile on my face, knowing that I have a huge medical school test at 8am in the morning and my 7th chemotherapy following soon thereafter. But, smile I will, inspired by Scott (and all of the Scott's in the world.) Living today and today alone.

I know this is corny, but this song came out about the time I was diagnosed, when it was all so real. I hope one day I can say that I have "had just enough time..."

Love you all.
Liv